I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
