Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The Olympian is in my bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
