Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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