Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We got so high we made milksteak
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
