If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
