You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
