none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize