I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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