i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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