so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
