Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i now understand why vodka
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
