Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
