I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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