Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
