sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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