is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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