the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
