i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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