My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
