just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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