Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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