sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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