He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize