stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize