Banned from zoo.
Again?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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