They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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