I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
