her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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