I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
as a side note pls kill me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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