Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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