i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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