i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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