do herpes really smell.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
