Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
