Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
