i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize