I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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