i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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