she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The air was thick with penises
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize