Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
