I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
