hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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