Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
