So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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