What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
