He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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