at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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