I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
