I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
