He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
