Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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