The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
handjob tips. give me some.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
