we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Panties = found
Randomize
