If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
