Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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