Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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