True but thats because hes a fetus.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
