I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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