I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
