I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
